The Last of the Summer Sandwiches

Compo: I've been thinking recently, perhaps we need a new kind of Sandwich to act as an intermediary between people in the city? A lot of people I meet are a bit isolated, ghettoised or stuck, and are looking for some ideas, a new horizon or two, but urban life conspires against them- they tend to be stuck at work eating the same old Ham Sandwich, or stuck at home on the computer eating the same old Cheese Sandwich, or are stuck in their social life eating the same old Crisp Sandwich. A lot of people are searching for a different kind of Sandwich.

Norman: You leave people alone Compo, nobody wants you meddling in people's lives with your new fangled Sandwich ideas. What's wrong with society is that people don't know how to enjoy a good old fashioned sandwich, or they are too busy at work to get involved in eating some more interesting Sandwiches. But either way there is nothing anyone can do about it. And anyway each class, and ethnic group, like a good old 17th Century village, is happy eating their own Sandwich to themselves. If you try to introduce a butcher, who has of course been eating the bacon Sarny all his life with his bacon Sarny working class friends, to a university educated type of Ciabbata Sandwich person, then they'll just get confused and not be able to relate. You just leave everyone in their little boxes where they belong and let there be no more word of Sandwich mixing, it is giving me a headache.

Foggy: Norman's probably right Compo, I'm not sure about your new fangled Sandwich ideas either. You see Compo, what everyone is looking for is actually just the Love Sandwich, which in my case is a Jam Sandwich. Problem is I can't quite find it, the Jam Sandwich. I've been looking all over town for a while, and I've yet to quite find her. But that's what I believe in, that's my Sandwich. And I don't want to hear about all these other Sandwich ideas, it is giving me a headache.

Norman: That's right Foggy, nobody wants all of these new Sandwich horizons. All they want is a bit of dancing, with a nice girl, and then a bit of comforting Ham Sandwich in bed afterwards. Or at least that's what I want, I think. I've been eating at the same old Sandwiches for a long time now, I'm comfortable with them, so no more talk of new Sandwich horizons from you Compo, you leave people be, it's giving me a headache.

Compo: Well Foggy, Norm, I can see that neither of you are interested in trying a new kind of Sandwich, you seem content with your Last of the Summer Sandwiches, sitting around chewing on them like old bones. But a lot of the people I meet are searching for a different Sandwich, a better Sandwich. They aren't all the boxed class stereotypes that Norm believes are out there- there are plenty of individuals out there who are looking to get out of their box.

Foggy: Well Compo they should just shut up, calm down, go dancing and continue their search for the perfect Love Sandwich, that's my advice to them. The rest is just a load of nonsense.

Norm: Exactly Foggy, in fact anyone who suggests that people might want, or go about, exploring other kinds of Sandwiches is basically like Pol Pot the fascist dictator who wanted everyone to be the same. Compo sounds a bit like Pol Pot, thinking that everyone is going to be able to relate to the same sandwich. In my book everyone should just chew on their same old Sandwiches in their little Sandwich boxes, and stay there.

Compo: Well Foggy, there's nothing wrong with the Love Sandwich, obviously, it's important. It sounds like you and Norm could do with eating a bit more of it more regularly, it might cheer you up a bit and make you sound a bit less like grumpy old men, but actually I find what people are looking for often isn't actually the Love Sandwich, or a new version of it, it's a different Life Sandwich, a different Work Sandwich, a Collaboration Sandwich- they are looking for a different way to relate to the world, not just to one person in bed and hanging around on the Dodgems or in the Park. The idea that the Love Sandwich is 'the answer' is clearly a romantic delusion, for many people, or just suggests a lack of new ideas. And equally people can often get trapped eating the Love Sandwich, chewing on it all day in bed or in the park, and it can tie them down and prevent them embarking on new adventures in search of the Life Sandwich that they are looking for.

Norm: Oh will you Compo, you really are sounding like Pol Pot, or Stalin.

Compo: I think you've had a bit too much of the last of the summer wine Norm. The idea that many people are in search of a more interesting, fulfilling Sandwich, and that there might be ways to help them on their way as an intermediary, is rather the opposite of authoritarian dictatorship. Your rather sweeping conservatism and desire to try to kill off new ideas does though smack of an authoritarian tendency- you seem to want to keep everyone in their little boxes, chewing on the same old Sandwiches, perhaps a reflection of your own situation.

Norm: All I am saying Compo is that everything is fine, people should get on with it, go dancing, have some sex, and a bit of Ham Sandwich afterwards. Beyond that what we need is a New World Order, but as that isn't happening and it is impossible to achieve then all there is left to do is go dancing, have sex, have a good old Ham Sandwich, and chew the cud with the last of the Summer Sandwiches.

Compo: Yes, I think it is clear that you and Foggy have pretty much given up on the possibility of change, or a new Sandwich horizon, for yourselves or anybody else. But a lot of people, individuals, haven't.

Norm: Well they are just deluding themselves, they should shut up and get on with it, go dancing, have some sex, and a bit of Ham Sandwich afterwards. Collaborations never work anyway.

Foggy: Exactly, they should just get on with it, shut up, and seek out the Love Sandwich, like me. Everything else is fantasy or Socio-pathy.

Compo: Well a lot of people I talk to out in the world do want to find a new kind of Sandwich, and they will, they do, sometimes at least. I think there is hope.

Norm: No Compo, they are deluding themselves. Love doesn't work, Collaboration doesn't work. Everything is just disappointing, money and inequality rule the world, the powerful are a bunch of cunts, and I'm off dancing and for a Ham Sandwich, with the Last of the Summer Sandwiches.

Foggy: Exactly, nothing changes. I'm off in search of my Love Sandwich, and you better be careful with your apparent optimism Compo- you might get hurt.

Norm: Yeah Compo, nobody likes trouble makers. You just go dancing and have a Ham Sandwich, stick to the Last of the Summer Sandwiches, and no more talk of new Sandwich Horizons, there's a good boy.

Compo: Well I'm not going to sit around for the rest of my life chewing on the Last of the Summer Sandwiches with you old duffers, creaking away on the dance floor looking for a Love you Cannot Find. I'm off out.

Foggy: Well careful Compo, it is a big wide world out there, and there's nothing in it but the mysterious, slightly out of reach Love Sandwich.

Norm: Yeah Compo, you be careful with your Pol Pot ideas. You'll only end up disappointed like me, Foggy and the rest of humanity.

Compo: Well it'll sure beat sitting around with you lot chewing the Last of the Summer Sandwiches all day Waiting for Godot, or for the Love Train to swing by.

Foggy: You be careful Compo....

etc. etc.